Posts tagged "story"

arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via toriinn)

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sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

(via faithsonlyhope)

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holyshawarmabatman:

so i have two little cousins one is 10 and the other is 7 and my aunt told them they could each say one cuss word and not get in trouble so the older one very politely says “damn” but the younger one stands up on the kitchen table, rips his shirt off and screams “FUUUUUUCCCKKKK” while dive bombing to the floor and my aunt just stood there and stared at him because she couldn’t get mad at him

(via toriinn)

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williamwiccan:

so i was wearing a tank top and i haven’t shaved my armpits, and I was tutoring one of my kids and i raised my arms and he saw the hair and I covered it and he said ‘No need to cover, we are all hairy. Women, men, who cares?

the boy is 12.

(via toriinn)

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sarahsizzites:

snowpetrel:

i was babysitting a little boy and girl once and the boy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said “no!! but i have a girlfriend!” and he said “like a friend thats a girl?” and i said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! we still do couple things but we’re just both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh ok! are you gonna marry her?”

like it’s literally that easy for kids to understand

Children > Adults

(via faithsonlyhope)

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charlotte-corday:

I had a dream last night that I worked at McDonalds and I was behind the counter when this guy dressed in a tuxedo (with white dickie and tie) was snapping his fingers for a server. I went I over and he asked to see our “darkest red” and I knew he was talking about wine so I said “sir, this is McDonalds. The darkest red we have here is ketchup” and he had me pour him a glass of ketchup and he drank it while looking me directly in the eye.

(via toriinn)

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edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

(via hajimarinoniina)

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dontbearuiner:

mermaids-and-anchors:

Nadya Vessey never actually dreamed of being a mermaid. But then one day, as the lifelong swimmer was taking off her prosthetic legs before an ocean dip near her home in Auckland, New Zealand, a little boy asked why she had no feet. Vessey didn’t explain that she was born with a congenital deformity, or that she lost one leg below the knee when she was 7 and the other at age 16. She told him simply, “I’m a mermaid,” and then slipped into the sea. Inspired by her own little white lie, Vessey decided to write an e-mail to Weta Workshop, the special-effects company that won four Oscars for its work on the Lord of the Rings trilogy. She wanted to know if the artists might consider building her a tail to help her move more gracefully through the water. Cofounder Sir Richard Taylor’s resounding reply: “Yes!” Two years and nearly 800 pro bono hours later, Taylor’s team unveiled a six-foot-long neoprene-and-plastic appendage covered in a Lycra sock that sparkles with digitally printed “scales.” Now, three Kiwi summers later, Vessey says swimming with the tail is finally starting to seem natural—as if it is actually a part of her. Richard Taylor: “The tail looks so simple in photographs, but it was unbelievably complicated and expensive to make. We had to get its buoyancy exactly right for Nadya’s proportions. And we also wanted the tail to look beautiful and feel feminine. We’re pleased with how it came out. Nadya looks very elegant in it. I imagine that for a double amputee, walking might feel a little awkward. But when she gets in the water, she is free.”Nadya Vessey: “Throughout my life, whenever I needed inspiration, I’d go swimming in the ocean. With my tail, I’ve learned to swim in a completely new way. I swim faster, and I use my back muscles more. It takes time to adjust to a prosthetic, of course—it has to become part of your body. There’s a mental shift that occurs. A limb fitter once made me a pair of legs that fit so right they made me feel like a ballerina. Once I’ve fully integrated my tail, I expect I’ll really feel like a water creature! But the tail isn’t just for me; I believe it’s meant to bring others joy.”
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Amputee-Nadya-Vessey-Gets-a-Prosthetic-Mermaid-Tail#ixzz2gHvucNBE

I’m not crying! You’re crying!

dontbearuiner:

mermaids-and-anchors:

Nadya Vessey never actually dreamed of being a mermaid. But then one day, as the lifelong swimmer was taking off her prosthetic legs before an ocean dip near her home in Auckland, New Zealand, a little boy asked why she had no feet. Vessey didn’t explain that she was born with a congenital deformity, or that she lost one leg below the knee when she was 7 and the other at age 16. She told him simply, “I’m a mermaid,” and then slipped into the sea.

Inspired by her own little white lie, Vessey decided to write an e-mail to Weta Workshop, the special-effects company that won four Oscars for its work on the Lord of the Rings trilogy. She wanted to know if the artists might consider building her a tail to help her move more gracefully through the water. Cofounder Sir Richard Taylor’s resounding reply: “Yes!” Two years and nearly 800 pro bono hours later, Taylor’s team unveiled a six-foot-long neoprene-and-plastic appendage covered in a Lycra sock that sparkles with digitally printed “scales.” Now, three Kiwi summers later, Vessey says swimming with the tail is finally starting to seem natural—as if it is actually a part of her.

Richard Taylor: “The tail looks so simple in photographs, but it was unbelievably complicated and expensive to make. We had to get its buoyancy exactly right for Nadya’s proportions. And we also wanted the tail to look beautiful and feel feminine. We’re pleased with how it came out. Nadya looks very elegant in it. I imagine that for a double amputee, walking might feel a little awkward. But when she gets in the water, she is free.”

Nadya Vessey: “Throughout my life, whenever I needed inspiration, I’d go swimming in the ocean. With my tail, I’ve learned to swim in a completely new way. I swim faster, and I use my back muscles more. It takes time to adjust to a prosthetic, of course—it has to become part of your body. There’s a mental shift that occurs. A limb fitter once made me a pair of legs that fit so right they made me feel like a ballerina. Once I’ve fully integrated my tail, I expect I’ll really feel like a water creature! But the tail isn’t just for me; I believe it’s meant to bring others joy.”

I’m not crying! You’re crying!

(via toriinn)

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buddhabrot:

metaphorically:

i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it” 

i love this post every time

(via stereolimit)

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amroyounes:

They are not exactly the restore your faith in humanity kind of pictures per a couple of requests, but they did put a smile on my face as I thought of them when I was running a tough part of the trail this morning.  I looked up, and a lone hiker was walking down, she saw me smile and her frown changed.  So now I remind myself everyday to make sure I have a smile on my face.

(via toriinn)

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thisisurheichouspeaking:

Art dump part 4
okay story time
so my art teacher assigned us to do a chalk pastel still life of fruits n shit and I was like “no”
so I drew a banana instead.
and my teacher came by like “you need to have more than one fruit in your still life”
so I was like “k”
and so I put that cherry on top of the banana and titled it “Banana Split Without The Ice Cream Because Life Is Full Of Disappointments: By Fall Out Boy" and I turned that shit in.
My art teacher just started laughing out loud in the middle of class

thisisurheichouspeaking:

Art dump part 4

okay story time

so my art teacher assigned us to do a chalk pastel still life of fruits n shit and I was like “no”

so I drew a banana instead.

and my teacher came by like “you need to have more than one fruit in your still life”

so I was like “k”

and so I put that cherry on top of the banana and titled it “Banana Split Without The Ice Cream Because Life Is Full Of Disappointments: By Fall Out Boy" and I turned that shit in.

My art teacher just started laughing out loud in the middle of class

(via moved--tentaclemonsterhair)

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The First And True Language Of America (via notalwaysright.com)

  • GROCERY STORE | SANTA FE, NM, USA |
  • (I’m waiting in line behind a woman speaking on her cellphone in another language. Ahead of her is a white man. After the woman hangs up, he speaks up.)
  • Man: “I didn’t want to say anything while you were on the phone, but you’re in America now. You need to speak English.”
  • Woman: “Excuse me?”
  • Man: *very slow* “If you want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. In America, we speak English.”
  • Woman: “Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England.”
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diluvians:

lanius:

girlsgetbusyzine:

gayblowjob:

“This is really NORMAL. 
Except we never see it-so it is terrifying and uncomfortable when it happens. 
(Mostly because people would laugh or be unkind)

I own a sex shop. Once a woman bled on our chair during an interview. She was horrified and felt ashamed because it was in some way unprofessional. We weren’t bothered. We said ‘what better place to work on being ok with your body than at a feminist sex shop?’
Bleeding is normal and dealing with it is one of the most pervasive ways women are complicit in their silence.

Some men bleed too. How would you react to that? For many men who are Trans the act of bleeding is a security threat.

Fuck off with your lolz.”

Photos by Arvida Bystrom

I really like this, because as a woman, your period is something to be hidden from everyone, don’t make any noise with a pad, don’t let anyone see you wearing a pad, don’t let you tampon string hang out, don’t wear this, this and this on your period and for god’s sake don’t be unprepared when it starts, because then you’ll get blood everywhere. A women’s period is something to be rejoiced as an act of fertility, your body is just letting you know you can make new people so why is it such a shame to have a period?

fucking this.

(via toriinn)

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notyourstandardops:

fuckyou-fuckme-fuckit:

disneygirlxx:

martin-munster:

munchflower:

When my daughter first showed signs of hating herself, I got out photoshop. We went and found an image of her choosing, of a woman. I spent the next two hours showing her just how easy it was to alter this woman. I changed her hair, whitened her teeth, made her thinner. I erased her blemishes and even made her taller while my daughter sat there aghast. At the end of it she loudly said - ” THAT’S NOT FAIR!” 

I told her that damn near every image she saw of people in magazines, on television, etc, was altered like this, and that she should never compare herself to that, because even supermodels don’t look like supermodels. 

I wish I could do that for every child. I wish it was a mandatory class in school.

image

I AM SHOWING THIS TO EVERYONE 

I SAW THIS IN CLASS BEFORE. THE TEACHER WAS ALL LIKE ”please, never compare yourself to people you see in magazines. They’re always altered. It’s as easy as that.” I ALMOST STOOD UP AND YELLED ”AMEN, MISS. AMEN.”

France want’s to put a health warning on images like these

(via toriinn)

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r3d1sth3b3stcolor:

falcon-knight:

ok STORYTIME

my mom gave me this gift for my birthday

image

at first i was like

image

please don’t tell me it’s a sex toy

image

but then i was like

oh it’s a necklace in which you can put a special pearl

and i-

image

make a wish?

image

image

image

i think i just became a magical girl.

coolest fucking gift ever

(via otaku4life14)

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